I've fought my entire life to belong. To be a part of what was happening. To fit in.
Belonging has been the yearning of my heart from the first day of kindergarten. The day I discovered there was a much bigger world than my little apartment building. When I learned that other children played in ways that I didn't know or understand. The seed was planted that day.
Years of rejections, of awkwardness, of being "different" watered that seed as it grew into a tree. A tree that I would sit and read under, nestled in it's shade, finding my belonging there, in solitude. My heart was lonely, but at least it wasn't getting trampled. I'd make occasional trips out from under it, to see all the places that my heart wasn't welcomed, where I still didn't fit in. I'd return to my tree, to nurse those wounds.
But on one of those trips out, I stuck around long enough to be accepted. I found people who spoke my language, and when they didn't, they were willing to learn mine and teach me theirs. As I found a place to belong, it was easier to be away from my tree, to risk other places of belonging.
One day soon I will have built my strength to the place where I can cut down that tree that grew from that seed that was planted in my four year old heart.
Linking up with Five Minute Friday.